MoeJoe Musing

Dragon Breath May 30, 2014

Today a silly fiction story I thought about yesterday.  I’m just going to plow into it and see where it goes.

These two were different, the scientist thought.  He had studied them for a few years, among the other Varanus komodoensis, or Komodo dragon as they are more commonly known.  These two seemed to be a mated pair, unlike all of the others he had observed.  While the other male dragons fought for a mating partner, these two fought off all of the other males together.  In the laboratory he had isolated these two for an experiment.  A rigorous, careful regimen would be administered to one, the male, to study the effect of reducing the quantity of oral bacteria.

A combination of anesthetic and restraint was used to hold the lizard in place, to avoid harming the lizard and the scientist.  The latest dental technology was brought in to treat the gingival tissue and to kill the normally present oral bacteria.  With the first treatment, when the lizard woke up enough, he immediately vomited.  “There, that’s better,” he thought.  “Ugh!  My mouth felt nasty.  that was the worst morning mouth ever.”  The scientist, not sure whether the lizard vomited because it was ill or because of another natural stimulus, treated the lizard’s mouth again the next day.  As the poor thing hadn’t felt like eating after the treatment, there was no vomit to restore the natural balance the lizard normally felt in his mouth.  He was re-introduced to the observation area, where his mate waited.

Her forked tongue went out to sniff.  “Ohh!!  Your breath is awful, George!” she exclaimed.

“I know.  Sorry, Gracie!  Some experiment,” he apologized.  “I really don’t like the way this human is treating me recently.  It was bad enough when he was just watching us.  I think this more invasive behavior must be stopped before it gets worse.”

“I agree.  But keep your distance there, fresh boy.  I’ve never smelled anything so gross in all my life.  No offense.”

“None taken.”  But George was an angry dragon and he sulked all day.  His gums hurt and his stomach felt queasy.

They fed on fresh chicken for lunch that day, good protein but not much in the way of medicinal bacteria except a little Escherichia Coli, Listeria and Salmonella.  He hid as best he could, and only brushed minimally in the leafy underbrush, just to get the feathers and food particles out.  Being a very intelligent dragon, George knew what he wanted.  A little Pasteurella multocida would settle his whole system down.  Maybe he could get a rabbit for dinner.  While he was daydreaming in the sunshine, tucked in a rocky corner of the observation area, that small panel slid open and, hallelujah, not two but three rabbits were shoved in by glove-wearing hands.  George waited quietly for the grazing rabbits to get closer.  Gracie was the lucky one, she caught one almost right away.  One quick sprint and it was all over.  She offered to share, and he had a nibble.

His stomach felt a little better the next day, but Gracie still said his breath was bad.  George caught a leaping, leftover rabbit for breakfast.  So George was in a grumpy funk.  “Gracie, he’ll come back and he’s going to do it again.  I just know it.  Help me get him.  I don’t care about the other scientists, I know they’re curious, and that’s fine, but this guy has gone way over my threshold of patience and tolerance.”  And so a plan was hatched.

The two covered themselves in leaves and mud, rolling and circling until it was impossible to tell who was who.  Then, camouflaged well, they tucked themselves close to each other under some shrubbery, to wait.  “This is odd behavior, I haven’t seen Komodo Dragons doing this before.  I guess it’s not that unusual, and it doesn’t harm them.  The younger ones sometimes roll around in mud to avoid being a delicious smelling treat for the older dragons.   I think maybe I’ll do one more run with the male mouth, and then take some measurements.  But which is which?  And where are they?” the scientist wondered.

In a whisper only a dragon could hear, they counted down together as the scientist approached.  At the signal, they attacked!  And he was down, taken by surprise.  With one at the neck and the other clamped down on a leg, tightly, the body quickly stopped moving.  Together, they made quick work of the soft middle section before the other scientists waved forked sticks at them and made them back off.  As the horrified lab team dragged off the body, Gracie complimented George.  “Hey!  Your breath smells a whole lot better!!  Kiss me, you great big beautiful guy!”  

It was a kiss like they’d never had before.  You may have heard of pecks, and even “french” kissing, but this was beyond these and all others.  A “Komodo kiss” is a thing of wonder.  Bacteria bandied about beautifully.  Forked tongues first flirted, then flashed fantastically.  And romance rekindled.  George felt healthier and stronger than he’d felt in a week.  And in the distraction of the moment, no one was watching what happened next.