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Fish Sandwich: Bait and Switch? February 16, 2015

Posted by michaelnjohns in Uncategorized.
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In the mail we received a coupon booklet.  It has a lovely picture of a fish sandwich on it, right on time for those people who routinely eat fish during Lent.  I’m not going to mention the name of the restaurant, but it is a fast food establishment.  It’s very popular logo is supposed to resemble their french fries I think.  I pass three or four of them every day on the way to and from work.  They are everywhere, and their food is just sinfully delicious.  I love fish sandwiches no matter what time of year it is.

The reason I’m not going to mention the name of the restaurant is because I’m giving them up for Lent.  And because I want an apology.  I made the mistake of reading the fine print of all of the coupons, which is better than if I had actually gone in looking for a couple of fish sandwich and trying to use one of the coupons.  If I had actually gone in and had to be embarrassed by the wonderful staff, who are only just abiding by the policies of the corporation, I might never go again.

The advertisement featured their fish sandwich on the front cover, an open invitation suggesting we all try that, and inside, there were a number of buy-one-get-one offers for sandwiches.  However, the fine print of the coupon mailer, on the back of each tiny tear off coupon that referred to sandwiches, excluded the beautiful one pictured on the front.  That’s right, a fish sandwich picture on the front, and fine print on the back, excluding the fish sandwich from any of the offered coupon deals.  Laugh it up at the literal nature of the pun if you will, but I feel we were baited and switched. I’m sure it’s just my impression, but it just feels evil.

Everyone in my neighborhood must have received that mailer!  I wonder if it was a national campaign or a local one.  Did they bait and switch all of the United States of America?  I’m kind of horrified.  Was it intentional, or just some unfortunate accidental misprint, from not reading and correcting the fine print on the back of the previous coupon print-run?  If it was intentional, I can picture the Mcxecutives sitting in their top-story office suites, laughing maliciously at the joke played on their customers.  If it was unintentional, I wonder if they’re wringing their hands at the gaffe.

It may have been a forgivable sin, but unless I get an apology from the corporation I’m giving up eating at this restaurant for Lent, because as much as I love their delicious fish sandwiches and the rest of their great food, I hate being baited and switched by anyone.  There are other vendors who sell excellent fish sandwiches, and they are also on my commuting route.

It’s me.  I’m sorry, it’s just me.  I’m too easily offended.  I tend to think the world at large and all the people in it have some kind of personal whatever against me.  I shouldn’t be so overly sensitive, say my friends and family.  I’m just constantly feeling the sting of everything and everybody who has done something that hurt my feelings, whether deliberate or not.  Everybody, and I mean everybody, has told me to just suck it up, toughen up, accept it and deal with it and move on.  That’s a wonderful suggestion, but I can’t.  In my world, people should treat people right. But in the real world, some people are wrong, tell lies, and do evil things that hurt innocent people like me.  Honestly, I just want to stay innocent and be treated right.  It’s my expectation, fair or not.  That injury hasn’t had a recent chance to heal; the psychological wound keeps getting re-opened and I don’t trust anyone any more.  So I know, it’s just me.  And I hear you saying, “The world does not have it out for you.  Toughen up, suck it up, and move on.”

The trouble is, EVERY time I read the fine print, someone is lying to me.  Right to my face.  I call the bluff and they hand me a line of verbiage that smells like something from the backside of a bull, and they proceed to tell me it’s actually rose blossoms and my smeller is misfiring.  So they tell me it’s my fault and everything I’m thinking is wrong.

With this persecution complex in mind, I’ve written not to suggest I actually expect an apology, but to say I hope everyone else will continue to go to this fine restaurant during the Lenten season and beyond, and not be offended like I was.  I tend to take things personally, especially things that land in my personal mailbox.  But if you go, you won’t see me there until after Easter.  Or if I actually get a written apology, perhaps with coupons for 40 days of fish sandwiches, or maybe even a years’ supply, just a suggestion I’ll put on MY hook to throw out to the corporate heads of that wonderful restaurant.  If they do something nice like that, I’ll let you all know.

I just checked my email and there’s another advertisement including fish sandwiches from a different fast-food place.  I might try them, but they’re a little out of my direct way home.  And I haven’t read the fine print yet.

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